本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛cultural shock would stay for the rest of our life. As for me, living comfortablly in a chinese environment in Toronto, shopping in chinese supper market, having chinese colleagues, watching chinese TV, dining in Chinese resturant, I am so privileged (or disadvantaged as some people would say) than if living in other cities of North America. I have the choice to either stay in our own cultural or actively reach out to integrate ourselves more into the main stream. This environment allows me to live confortably in our own cultural enrionment to a certain degree.
Having parents around, again, makes me incline more to a chinese environment than other. Watching Chinese channels together with my parents, go to chinese festivals, engage in chinese community activites, close friends that are only chinese...
Now, all of a sudden, I am doubting whether I went too far so that I am almost consciously or unconsciously ignoring all the mainstrean stuff. In one phone conversation with the day care staff, she told me that my daughter has a prefered friend in the daycare and I presumably thought that it would be a chinese girl. As it turns out that she is a white girl and when I think of Xiao Yuer's suggestion to provide opportunities to have the friends together after school time, I feel that I am so unprepared and inconfident to contact a non-chinese family.
It would come as very naturally that the kid would have some close friends which are chinese and some close friends which are from other cultural. Would our parents question ourselves again if our kids only have chinese kids as close friends or only have foriegn kids as close friends?
When I look on myself now, I only have chinese friends as close friends. I don't have any foriegn friends as close friends. To tell the turth, I feel this is not the ideal and kind of out of balance. However, as all we know, time are all devoted to the family, the kid, the living, having friends only when it happens naturally. Who have the time to make forigen friends just because in order to make the portfolio look good.
I don't know whether my parents would question that why I only have chinese friends and not foriegn friends. To be frank, I don't think this question would even come into their mind. On the other hand, if I have a close foriegn friend, probably my parents would ask why I have a close foriegn friend not a chinese one.
As the first generation of the immigration, we don't know what the norm is and neighter of the way can be perfect. Maintaining both would be difficult and sometime impossible. Generation gap plus cultural gap, what should we guide our kids when they are young? How can we update ourselves and keep up with the kids when they grow up?
We can not even ask our kid to take us as an example because I already noticed my unbalanceness friendwise and in many other things. It is hard bouth on us and on the kid. When they were young and need the guidence most, we don't know how to guide them and what to educate them, and naturelly they don't know which one to follow. Time goes by quickly. And when they grow up and have a mind of their own, we would probably step up and say no, no, no....
Kids are smart, one day they will guide us anyway. I wish that day would come soon. But now, they are young and need guidence. As a parent, it is too normal to be troubled with what is not enough and what is too much. Neighter neglect them nor they are all your attention. Really hard to balance.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net