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两个认为什么是对,什么是错要一致才好。

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛看了Up in the air, 非常好的片子。被裁员对象都谈到了家庭,孩子。确实如此,人生无常,一个人的力量源泉,幸福感的终极来源就是家庭. 性,相貌,性格,收入,健康,爱好兴趣都在不同时期对婚姻有着不同程度的影响,但我觉得,婚姻最根本的基石是两个人要share a common set of values。

简单的说,就是你们两个认为什么是对,什么是错要一致才好。

很多东西都是过眼烟云,无法持久。性,好东西,基石number 1,但在这方面能互相吸引的人恐怕不止夫妻双方。相貌,年轻时管一定用,到了一定岁数就免了吧。性格,很重要,但两个善良的人过不到一块的多了去了。金钱,很势利,但对很多人来讲恐怕比其他的还重要,但比你有钱的人多了去了。爱好兴趣更是没谱的事。

要维持两个人之间长期的互相吸引,早上起来没洗澡前不怕对方看,吵翻了天之后还相信明天,过了15年之后还想着下个30年的东西,就只有一件事,那就是两个人的value system要匹配。

Quote from Morrie:

"I've learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't." (p.149)

"...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike." (p.149)

"I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it." (p.149更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 枫下家园 / 幸福家庭 / 两个认为什么是对,什么是错要一致才好。
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛看了Up in the air, 非常好的片子。被裁员对象都谈到了家庭,孩子。确实如此,人生无常,一个人的力量源泉,幸福感的终极来源就是家庭. 性,相貌,性格,收入,健康,爱好兴趣都在不同时期对婚姻有着不同程度的影响,但我觉得,婚姻最根本的基石是两个人要share a common set of values。

    简单的说,就是你们两个认为什么是对,什么是错要一致才好。

    很多东西都是过眼烟云,无法持久。性,好东西,基石number 1,但在这方面能互相吸引的人恐怕不止夫妻双方。相貌,年轻时管一定用,到了一定岁数就免了吧。性格,很重要,但两个善良的人过不到一块的多了去了。金钱,很势利,但对很多人来讲恐怕比其他的还重要,但比你有钱的人多了去了。爱好兴趣更是没谱的事。

    要维持两个人之间长期的互相吸引,早上起来没洗澡前不怕对方看,吵翻了天之后还相信明天,过了15年之后还想着下个30年的东西,就只有一件事,那就是两个人的value system要匹配。

    Quote from Morrie:

    "I've learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't." (p.149)

    "...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike." (p.149)

    "I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it." (p.149更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 简单,老猫的原则看来就是,如果不一致,老婆说得就是对的。
      • That's part of our value system. LOL.
        • 爱听老婆不算丢人,死要面子会死的难看。
          • 老婆如老板,除了服从,就是尽量躲着,比如出差.比如单独带孩子出去玩.
            • This is CAA!
          • "our" = my wife and myself. lol
      • 当男人都意识到这一点时,天下女人之福啊!
    • 拍一砖!简单的问题让你给绕复杂了。鬼子只用一句话就把幸福家庭河蟹了:Happy wife, happy life. Period!。。。
    • 这个我同意。。。。中国历史上多少夫妻验证了这点。。。。很多夫妻即使没有共同的兴趣爱好,同床异梦,最后也一直走到了尽头。。。。就是他们有一个共同的 value target。。。。
      • 嗯,也许老猫的value不是这个意思。