本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛看了Up in the air, 非常好的片子。被裁员对象都谈到了家庭,孩子。确实如此,人生无常,一个人的力量源泉,幸福感的终极来源就是家庭. 性,相貌,性格,收入,健康,爱好兴趣都在不同时期对婚姻有着不同程度的影响,但我觉得,婚姻最根本的基石是两个人要share a common set of values。
简单的说,就是你们两个认为什么是对,什么是错要一致才好。
很多东西都是过眼烟云,无法持久。性,好东西,基石number 1,但在这方面能互相吸引的人恐怕不止夫妻双方。相貌,年轻时管一定用,到了一定岁数就免了吧。性格,很重要,但两个善良的人过不到一块的多了去了。金钱,很势利,但对很多人来讲恐怕比其他的还重要,但比你有钱的人多了去了。爱好兴趣更是没谱的事。
要维持两个人之间长期的互相吸引,早上起来没洗澡前不怕对方看,吵翻了天之后还相信明天,过了15年之后还想着下个30年的东西,就只有一件事,那就是两个人的value system要匹配。
Quote from Morrie:
"I've learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't." (p.149)
"...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike." (p.149)
"I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it." (p.149更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
简单的说,就是你们两个认为什么是对,什么是错要一致才好。
很多东西都是过眼烟云,无法持久。性,好东西,基石number 1,但在这方面能互相吸引的人恐怕不止夫妻双方。相貌,年轻时管一定用,到了一定岁数就免了吧。性格,很重要,但两个善良的人过不到一块的多了去了。金钱,很势利,但对很多人来讲恐怕比其他的还重要,但比你有钱的人多了去了。爱好兴趣更是没谱的事。
要维持两个人之间长期的互相吸引,早上起来没洗澡前不怕对方看,吵翻了天之后还相信明天,过了15年之后还想着下个30年的东西,就只有一件事,那就是两个人的value system要匹配。
Quote from Morrie:
"I've learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't." (p.149)
"...there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike." (p.149)
"I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it." (p.149更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net