This website requires Javascript to function properly. Please go to the setting of your web browser and enable Javascript for this website.

×

Loading...

枫下拾英 / 心情随笔 / 花瓣雨系列之 First dateThe road down to the bridge,
Gleaming in silvery;
The leaves rustled with sneak ears;

A hand took me to a shadow,
And cupped like a tulip in bud;

A smile sailing in the air,
And lilac scents surrounded;

A nightingale clapped her tender feather,
And I
lost
my
voice… -annayin(Rolia,我还留恋?); 2004-2-5 {359} (#1592589@0)

fake story. Just try other form of poetry. -annayin(Rolia,我还留恋?); 2004-2-5 (#1592615@0)

I may like your poem if you wrote them in Chinese. -askask(问题太多); 2004-2-5 (#1592620@0)
您介意我们夫妇给您用中文翻写您的诗吗？ -jackysandy(Sandy); 2004-2-5 (#1592684@0)

拭目以待。。。 -annayin(Rolia,我还留恋?); 2004-2-5 (#1592761@0)

Sound like real one which I had. -go4nature(蚯蚓@@花木称知己;丰); 2004-2-5 (#1592907@0)

in Nanjing. -go4nature(蚯蚓@@花木称知己;丰); 2004-2-5 (#1592908@0)

初逢曲径拱桥
银月泄地无缝
细叶呢喃处

月影执手
默祷指如花

夜莺未歌羽先响
唯独我
一路无话 -jackysandy(Sandy); 2004-2-5 {94} (#1593221@0)

8错，没有一句是押韵的也是很不容易d。。。 -rainrain(雨语裁字卧北风); 2004-2-5 (#1593248@0)

Better than your free verse. 忍不住的说。 -annayin(我是沙); 2004-2-6 (#1593430@0)

和和，诚实和直率总不太好接受d。就事论事，没必要转过来攻击我哈。这个译本基本忠于你原诗的遣词造句，但是精神内容完全不一样。你流露的是第一次date的甜蜜和喜悦，译本更象失恋者宣言... 另外我认为自己写得不错。其实一直觉得 -rainrain(雨语裁字卧北风); 2004-2-6 {612} (#1594235@0)

Why my critiques you cannot accept? I know since all these days I have tried to provide critiques to others, So I grow as habit. -annayin(上了黑名单,好玩！); 2004-2-6 (#1594398@0)

I perfer to your 古诗and prose，but free verse I think weak. I am not 科班,so my poems lack rhyme. That's my next step. For critiques I choosed others forum, since here is more quiet. -annayin(上了黑名单,好玩！); 2004-2-6 (#1594400@0)

Critiques for you, because all in all your work are good, So you are strong to take it or toss it. I hope you understand... -annayin(上了黑名单,好玩！); 2004-2-6 (#1594407@0)

Like me now, I don't fear critiques. They are more welcomed. Because it is critique let person more strong. -annayin(上了黑名单,好玩！); 2004-2-6 (#1594424@0)

嗬嗬，那么你看看我们翻译的“Home" -jackysandy(Sandy); 2004-2-6 (#1594714@0)

再多一句嘴，你要不满意我就住口。那篇译文虽然意思改了，但是改得满漂亮，比起楼上这篇，你们夫妻进步长足~~~ -rainrain(雨语裁字卧北风); 2004-2-7 (#1594898@0)

8是8接受，俺自觉颇有自知之明，只是这个评价和我的自我评价正好相反。 -rainrain(雨语裁字卧北风); 2004-2-6 {592} (#1594495@0)

谢谢你的大度。听惯了赞美之后，批评反而难能可贵。。。也许我得用心去读你的诗。。 -annayin(上了黑名单,好玩！); 2004-2-7 (#1594865@0)

Nice, but I feel it more melancholy than joy. -annayin(我是沙); 2004-2-6 (#1593434@0)
紫丁花香呢? 俺咋没文到呢? -go4nature(蚯蚓@@花木称知己;丰); 2004-2-6 (#1594262@0)

第一个日期 (机译版)路下来对桥梁, 闪烁在银色; 叶子沙沙响了与告密者耳朵;

手把我带对阴影, 和托起象郁金香在芽;

微笑航行在空气, 和淡紫色气味围拢了;

夜莺拍了她的嫩羽毛, 并且我丢失了我的声音... -rootbear(啤酒加咖啡); 2004-2-6 {176} (#1593319@0)
第一次约会 (啤酒版) // 写的真不赖，就是生词太多了，俺都不懂，，，沿着小道儿，过了小桥儿，
地上月光儿，象下了霜，
树叶支愣着耳朵儿，在偷听，

(他的大)手拉着俺，进了黑影地儿，
俩手拉着象俩大花瓣儿，

(抿着嘴儿的)笑容，都留在(身后的)空气里了，
还有那个香味儿，

夜莺在树叉儿上，抖了抖毛儿，
俺，俺，，，
(俺紧张的那个呀)大气儿，也不敢出，，，

------------------------------------------------
希望俺没有冒犯作者，睡觉去了ZZzzz... -rootbear(啤酒加咖啡); 2004-2-6 {376} (#1593326@0)

该是高粱地版 :-P -polareskimo(Inuit); 2004-2-6 (#1593329@0)
Northwest flavor. -annayin(上了黑名单); 2004-2-6 (#1593426@0)
I know you are better at English. Please correct me, if any error. My poem often need to revise. -annayin(我是沙); 2004-2-6 (#1593438@0)
这个版本漂亮多啦~~~ -rainrain(雨语裁字卧北风); 2004-2-6 (#1594231@0)
看完你文中的内容,题目的"约会"两字好象是狗尾续貂:-)))) -eagle_no1(瞎起哄); 2004-2-6 (#1594728@0)

哄兄弟，你说的太对了！ -rootbear(啤酒加咖啡); 2004-2-6 (#1594733@0)

口合口合口合一不小心笑翻：} -jennycc(birdflu); 2004-2-7 (#1595271@0)

More Topics

无题 - 心情随笔

有没有那嬷一首歌

【十万骑行袭汴梁，官商衙府各肚肠】

graduation trip

读《苏东坡》有感

枫下论坛主坛 / 枫下拾英 / 心情随笔